Pull Up a Chair, Share a Cigar With an Old Cuban

40ml Co-op Irresistible Pineapple Rum

25ml Lime Juice

12.5ml Bacon Maple Syrup (I'll explain)

Palmful of mint leaves

2 Dash Peychaud's Bitters

2 Dash Orange Bitters

30ml Champagne/prosecco/sparkling white wine that was on offer

Put the first six ingredients in the shaker with ice

Close it up and give it the ole razzle-dazzle

Fine strain into a chilled coupe (or you'll end up with bits of mint in your teeth)

Top up with the sparkling wine thing (You don't need to measure it, just pour some in)

Garnish with a mint leaf or a dehydrated pineapple slice

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I'm going to start by saying I don't like prosecco, champagne... basically any sparkling wine.

It is not for me.

It tastes like headaches and piecing together the evidence of what you did last night through poorly spelled messages on your phone. Or so I'm told...

That's why you will rarely see me talking about, writing about or drinking a glass or using it in a cocktail (I'll always take a St~Germain Spritz, because that shit is delicious)

But there is one cocktail with sparkling wine I do bloody well enjoy, and that is an Old Cuban.

Despite its name, it's a relatively young Cuban; more Camila Cabello than Castro.

It was invented in 2004 by legendary bartender Audrey Sanders (click the link, it is fascinating).

2004? Friends ended in 2004! Shaun of the Dead, Mean Girls and Dodgeball came out in 2004. I was 16. A cocktail that tastes older than nowadays me...

... was invented in the same year Yeah! by Usher came out. All I learned from Googling that is that I'm old. Thanks, research.

The flavour of it is so classic, it is no wonder it cemented itself in cocktail books from here to eternity.

It's like a Daiquiri, a Mojito and a Spritz had a baby which grew up into the World's Most Interesting Man

The menthol of the mint leaves cools the palate so the bubbles of the sparkling wine just pop on your tongue*.

With my version, you have a bit more

It's classier than a Mojito and makes you look so much cooler when you order it than a Spritz (apart from St~Germain).

*You may notice that I haven't specified a type of sparkling wine; SPOILER ALERT! I don't care, it all tastes the same.

I learned about this cocktail in a restaurant bar which I hated and the bar manager was a colossal dick.

Ending on a high there... Peace ooooooot!!!

Oh yeah! High note! Bacon Maple Syrup... forgot about that addendum

Bake as much bacon as you want, I honestly don't think there's an upper limit.

Gently boil 1 cup of water

Add 1/2 cup Maple Syrup and 1 cup Muscovado sugar

Blitz the bacon and chuck it in

Stir until dissolved

Leave to cool and coffee filter into a sterilised (just clean, there isn't going to be a health inspector knocking at your door) bottle/jar/receptacle